Godly Relationships - What You Can Do

This title is interesting in that most topics about relationships focus on developing and maintaining healthy relationships with people. A godly relationship is different in the sense that the focus is on ourselves - how can we have that quality of godliness in our relationships irregardless of whether that relationship with the other party is healthy or not.

Imagine if all people's lives were fully surrendered to Christ, meaning that they are under the total control and surrender to the Holy Spirit. How would their relationship with one another look like?

It would almost seem like being in heaven, wouldn't it?

So how do we demonstrate godliness in our relationships? Dr. Neil Anderson shares 3 suggestions :

1. Balance rights & responsibilities.

Here's an example:

As husbands, we tend to demand that our wives submit to us (Ephesians 5:22). However, the godly man does not demand that right. Instead, he obeys the command to love his wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25).

Think about how we can balance our rights and responsibilities as parents, teachers, managers, or employees. Do we focus too much on demanding our rights or do we make it our effort and goal to fulfill our role and responsibility to the best of our ability?

2. Learning Not To Be Defensive

When someone attacks our character or reputation, we tend to be defensive and fight back. To do this however, is completely pointless. If we're right, then we have nothing to be defensive about. If we're wrong, then we have no defense. Let's follow the example of Christ :

When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.

- 1 Peter 2:23 (New International Version)

Ponder this : people who smear our character tend to be carrying hurts or just plain immature. If someone does say something nasty about you or judges you, try to determine why they are doing it. Most likely, it is due to some unresolved issue or hurts in their lives. A believer, whose life is under the full control of the Holy Spirit, will NEVER slander a fellow brother or sister in Christ.

3. EXPRESSING OUR NEEDS

We're human. We have needs: the need to be loved, affirmed, and many more. How can these fundamental needs be met by others without us coming across as demanding of our rights?

Consider this principle in the Bible:

"Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."

-Luke 6:38 (New International Version)

When I give out a good measure of love, more than what is expected even...it will be returned to me in equal measure. Give affirmation and give it out generously. See how you will be affirmed generously in return. Give little then expect to get little as well.

What an awesome principle! Try it out. It really works!

Remember that we can never change people, we can only change ourselves and change how we treat others. Love your neighbor. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

Lastly, let's make it our pursuit this month to obey the commandment below :

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus...

-Philippians 2:3-5 (New International Version)

It will not be easy, but seek the grace of God and His strength to enable you to do so.

21st Century Proverbs

1. God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.


2. Dear God, I have a problem, it's me.


3. Growing old is inevitable, growing UP is optional.


4. There is no key to happiness. The door is always open.


5. Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted.


6. You do the math. Count your blessings.


7. Faith is the ability to not panic.


8. Laugh every day, it's like inner jogging.


9. If you worry, don't pray. If you pray... don't worry.


10. As a child of God, prayer is kind of like calling home everyday.


11. Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape.


12. The most important things in your home are the people!


13. When we get tangled up in our problems, be still; God wants us to be still so He can untangle the knot.


14. A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.


15. He who dies with the most toys is still dead.


16. We do not remember days, but moments. Life is moving too fast - so enjoy your precious moments.


17. Nothing is real to you until you experience it, otherwise it's just hearsay.


18. It's all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again. Just be sure to flush when you are done.


19. Surviving and living your life successfully requires courage. The goals and dreams you're seeking require courage and risk taking. Learn from the turtle, it only makes progress when it sticks out its neck.


20. Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.

My Top 5 List - Praise and Worship Songs

I recently borrowed a book at the public library titled, The Book of Lists which for all purposes, gave me an inspiration for a new category of blog posts. This book by the way contains largely useless information. Don't spend too much time reading it.

So for my first list, here's my top 5 praise and worship songs. They are not listed in rank. I've chosen them for various reasons but the bottomline is that these songs have spoken to me with such deep profoundness. Hope you enjoy listening to them. What about you, what's on your list?

1. Who Am I - Casting Crowns



This song will humble any soul. Man is not mighty and in fact the Bible likens us to a vapor or to a grass that withers (Psalm 37:2). Still the Lord through His great mercy and unmeasurable love wanted to reconcile us back to Him. It is a love that we didn't deserve but He did it anyhow.

2. Your Name - Paul Baloche



I found myself including this song in multiple master songlists in my role as a worship leader at aLife. It speaks about an eternal truth - there is power in the name of Jesus. What an awesome confession of faith during worship!

3. You Never Let Go - Matt Redman



This is also a song that I found myself including in multiple worship songlists. The year 2008 was a difficult year for many, Christians included, because the economy was tanking. California was hard hit with the mortgage crisis. It was in this context, that I introduced this song to aLife and felt compelled to repeat it several times to comfort and encourage the people of God. I find this song comforting in my present situation because my mother was recently diagnosed with colon cancer. Like I said in the previous blog post, when the going gets tough our faith must get going.

4. You Are God Alone - Phillips, Craig, & Dean



I often think of this as a classic, a powerful song of confession that can be easily included in any worship master song list. I love the bridge, "You're unchangeable,You're unshakeable, You're unstopple, that's what You are". What an awesome declaration! Now that is giving God the honor that only He is entitled to have.

5. Amazed - Jared Anderson



Introduced to me by Anton (our worship ministry leader), I was amazed that despite the simplicity of the song, it speaks volumes. Music is the language of the soul and this one speaks out the wonder and awe that true followers of Jesus have for their Savior. Each time we sing this at church, you'll always see someone get all teary eyed.

Blessings!